绝望主妇字幕最终版.docx
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绝望主妇字幕最终版.docx
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绝望主妇字幕最终版
MynameisMaryAliceYoung.
Inthismorning'spaper,
youmaycomeacrossanarticle
abouttheunusualdayIhadlastweek.
Normally,there'sneveranything
newsworthyaboutmylife,
butthatallchangedlastThursday.
Ofcourse,everythingseemed
quitenormalatfirst.
ImadeBreakfastformyfamily.
Iperformedmychores.
Icompletedmyprojects.
Iranmyerrands.
Intruth,Ispenttheday
asIspenteveryotherday,
quietlypolishingtheroutineofmylife
untilitgleamedwithperfection.
That'swhyitwassoastonishingwhen
Idecidedtogotomyhallwaycloset
andretrievearevolver
thathadneverbeenused.
Mybodywasdiscovered
bymyneighbor,Mrs.MarthaHuber,
who'dbeenstartled
byastrangepoppingsound.
Hercuriosityaroused,
Mrs.Hubertriedtothinkofareason
fordroppinginonmeunannounced.
Aftersomeinitialhesitation,
shedecidedtoreturntheblendershe
hadborrowedfrommesixmonthsbefore.
[Screams]
It'smyneighbor.Ithinkshe'sbeen
shot.There'sbloodeverywhere.
Yes,you'vegottosendanambulance.
You'vegottosendonerightnow.
And,foramoment,Mrs.Huber
stoodmotionlessinherkitchen,
grief-stricken
bythissenselesstragedy.
Butonlyforamoment.
Iftherewasonething
Mrs.Huberwasknownfor,
itwasherability
tolookonthebrightside.
IwaslaidtorestonaMonday.
Afterthefuneral,
alltheresidentsofWisteriaLane
cametopaytheirrespects.
And,aspeopledointhesesituations,
theybroughtfood.
LynetteScavobroughtfriedchicken.
Lynettehadagreatfamilyrecipe
forfriedchicken.
Shedidn'tcookmuch
whilemovingupthecorporateladder.
Shedidn'thavethetime.
Butwhenherdoctorannouncedshewas
pregnant,herhusbandTomhadanidea.
"Whynotquityourjob?
"
"Kidsdobetterwithstay-at-homemoms.
Itwouldbesomuchlessstressful."
Butthiswasnotthecase.
Infact,Lynette'slife
hadbecomesohectic
shewasnowforcedtogetherchicken
fromthefast-foodrestaurant.
Lynettewould'veappreciatedtheirony
ifshe'dthoughtaboutit.
Butshedidn'thavethetime.
-Stopit,stopit,stopit.
-But,Mom.
No.Youaregoingtobehavetoday.
Iamnotgoingtobehumiliated
infrontoftheentireneighborhood.
And,justsoyouknow
howseriousIam...
-What'sthat?
-Santa'scell-phonenumber.
Howdidyougetthat?
Iknowsomeone
whoknowssomeonewhoknowsanelf.
Andifanyofyouactsup,
sohelpme,IwillcallSanta
andIwilltellhim
youwantsocksforChristmas.
Areyouwillingtoriskthat?
OK.Let'sgetthisoverwith.
GabrielleSoliswholivesdowntheblock
broughtaspicypaella.
SincehermodelingdaysinNewYork,
Gabriellehaddevelopedataste
forrichfood...
...andrichmen.
Carlos,whoworkedinmergers
andacquisitions,
proposedontheirthirddate.
Gabriellewastouched
whentearswelledupinhiseyes.
Butshesoondiscoveredthishappened
everytimeCarlosclosedabigdeal.
Gabriellelikedherpaellapipinghot.
However,herrelationshipwith
herhusbandwasconsiderablycooler.
IfyoutalktoAlMasonatthisthing,
mentionhowmuch
Ipaidforyournecklace.
Whynotpinthereceipttomychest?
Heletmeknowwhathepaid
forhiswife'sconvertible.
-Justworkitin.
-There'snowayIcan.
Whynot?
AttheDonahueparty
everyonewastalkingmutualfunds.
Youmentioned
yousleptwithhalftheYankeeoutfield.
Itcameup
inthecontextoftheconversation.
Peoplearestaring.
Keepyourvoicedown.
Absolutely.Wewouldn'twantthem
tothinkwe'renothappy.
BreeVanDeKamp,wholivesnextdoor,
broughtbasketsofmuffins
shebakedfromscratch.
Breewasknownforhercooking.
Andformakingherownclothes.
Andfordoingherowngardening.
Andforre-upholstering
herownfurniture.
Yes,Bree'smanytalentswereknown
Throughouttheneighborhood.
EveryoneonWisteriaLanethought
ofBreeastheperfectwifeandmother.
Everyone,thatis,
exceptherownfamily.
Paul.Zachary.
-Hello,Mrs.VanDeKamp.
-Youshouldn'thave.
Itwasnotrouble.Thebasket
withtheredribbonisforyourguests.
Theonewiththeblueribbon
isjustforyouandZachary.
It'sgotrolls,muffins,
Breeakfasttypethings.
Thankyou.
TheleastIcoulddo
wasgiveyouadecentmeal
tolookforwardtointhemorning.
Iknowyou're
outofyourmindswithgrief.
Yes,weare.
Iwillneed
thebasketsbackonceyou'redone.
Ofcourse.
SusanMayer,
wholivesacrossthestreet,
broughtmacaroniandcheese.
Herhusband,Karl,
alwaysteasedherabouthermacaroni,
sayingitwastheonlythingsheknew
howtocookandsherarelymadeitwell.
Itwastoosaltythenight
sheandKarlmovedintotheirhouse.
Itwastoowaterythenight
shefoundlipstickonKarl'sshirt.
SheburneditthenightKarltoldher
hewasleavingherforhissecretary.
Ayearhadpassedsincethedivorce.
Susanhadstartedtothinkhowniceit
wouldbetohaveamaninherlife.
Evenonewhowould
makefunofhercooking.
Mom,whywould
someonekillthemselves?
Well,sometimespeoplearesounhappy,
theythinkthat'stheonlyway
tosolvetheirproblems.
-Mrs.Youngalwaysseemedhappy.
-Yeah.
Sometimespeoplepretendtobeoneway,
whenthey'retotallydifferentinside.
LikehowDad'sgirlfriendalwayssays
nicethings,butweknowshe'sabitch.
Idon'tlikethatword,Julie.
But,yeah,that'sagreatexample.
[Man]You'rewelcome.
[Julie]What'sgoingon?
SorryI'mlate.
-Hi,Susan.
-Hey.
SowhatdidKarlsay
whenyouconfrontedhim?
You'lllovethis,hesaid,"Itdoesn't
meananything.Itwasjustsex."
Ah,yes,pageone
ofthephilanderer'shandbook.
ThenhegotthisZenlookonhisface
andsaid,"Youknow,
mostmenlivelives
ofquietdesperation."
-Tellmeyoupunchedhim.
-No.Isaid,
"Whatdomostwomenlead?
Livesofnoisyfulfillment?
"
-Goodforyou.
-Didhehavetobanghissecretary?
Ihadthatwomantobrunch.
Anerectpenis
doesn'thaveaconscience.
Eventhelimponesaren'tthatethical.
ThisiswhyIjoinedtheNRA.
WhenRexstartedgoingtothose
conferences,
Iwanteditinthebackofhismind
thathehadawife
withaloadedSmith&Wesson.
Lynnie,Tom'salwaysaway.
Doyoueverworryhemight...?
He'sgottenmepregnant
threetimesinfouryears.
Iwishhewashavingsex
withsomeoneelse.
So,Susan,
ishegonnastopseeingthatwoman?
Idon'tknow.
I'msorry,youguys,Ijust...
Ijustdon'tknow
howI'mgonnasurvivethis.
Listentome.
Weallhavemomentsofdesperation.
Ifwecanfacethemhead-on,that'swhen
wefindouthowstrongwereallyare.
[Faroff]Susan.
Susan.
Iwasjustsaying
PaulwantsustogooveronFriday.
Heneedsustohelp
packupMaryAlice'sthings.
Hecan'tfacedoingitbyhimself.
-Sure.That'sfine.
-AreyouOK?
Yeah.I'mjustsoangry.
IfMaryAlicewashavingproblems,
sheshould'veletushelpher.
Whatproblemscouldshehavehad?
Shewashealthy,
hadagreathome,anicefamily.
Herlifewas...
Ourlife.
No.IfMaryAlicewashavingacrisis,
we'dhaveknown.
Shelives50feetaway,
forGodsakes.
Gabby,thewomankilledherself.
Somethingmust'vebeengoingon.
-Iwouldn'teatthatifIwereyou.
-Why?
Imadeit.Trustme.
Hey,hey,doyouhaveadeathwish?
No,Ijustdon'tbelievethatanybody
canscrewupmacaroniandcheese.
Oh,myGod.
Howdidyou...?
Ittasteslike
it'sburntandundercooked.
Yeah,Igetthatalot.Hereyougo.
Thanks.I'mMikeDelfino.Ijuststarted
rentingtheSims'housenextdoor.
SusanMayer.Iliveacrossthestreet.
Mrs.Hubertoldmeaboutyou.
Saidyouillustratechildren'sbooks.
Yeah,I'mverybig
withtheunder-fiveset.
-[Helaughs]
-Whatdoyoudo?
Plumber.Soifyoueverhaveaclog...
...orsomething.
Nowthateverybody'sseen
thatIbroughtsomething,
Ishouldprobablyjustthrowthisout.
-[Babysqueals]
-Ow.
Easeup,youlittlevampire.
Lynette,I'vebeenlooking
alloverforyou.
Areyouaware
ofwhatyoursonsaredoing?
Cannonball!
-[Boy]Stop!
-[Boyscheer]
Whatareyoudoing?
Weareatawake.
-Yousaidwecouldgointhepool.
-Isaidyoucouldgobythepool.
Yeah,weput'emonourselves
beforeweleft.
Youthreeplannedthis?
Allright.
That'sit.Getout.
-No.
-No?
Iamyourmother.
YouhavetodowhatIsay.Comeon.
Wewanttoswimandyoucan'tstopus!
[Chatter]
[Shegroans]
Here.
-No!
-Getout.
ThinkIwon'tgetinthispool
andjustgrabyou?
Getout!
Oh!
Getoverhere.
Allright,givemeyourarm.
You...
Yah!
That'sright.Getoverhere.
Go,go,go,go,go.Moveit.
Out.Getout.
Paul,wehavetoleavenow.
Onceagain,Iamsosorryforyourloss.
Go.
Lynetteshouldn'thavebeen
soconcernedaboutmyhusband.
Hehadotherthingsonhismind.
Thingsbelowthesurface.
Themorningaftermyfuneral,myfriends
andneighborsquietlywentback
totheirbusy,busylives.
Whilesomedidtheircooking...
...andsomedidtheircleaning...
...andsomedidtheiryoga...
...others...
...didtheirhomework.
-Hi...
-[dogbarks]
I'mJulie.Ikickedmyball
intoyourbackyard.
Oh,OK.Well,let'sgoroundandgetit.
-Stay.
-[Doggrowls]
Hiswifediedayearago.
InLAthereweretoomanymemories.
He'srentingfortaxpurposes,
buthopestobuysoon.
-Ican'tbelieveyouwentoverthere.
-Isawyouflirting.
Nowyouknowhe'ssingle,
youcanaskhimout.
Julie,IlikeMr.Delfino,Ido.
Ijust...Idon'tknow
ifI'mreadytodateyet.
Youneedtogetbackoutthere.How
longhasitbeensinceyou'vehadsex?
-AreyoumadIaskedyouthat?
-No,I'mtryingtoremember.
Idon'twanttotalktoyou
aboutmylovelife.
Iwouldn'thavesaidanything.Just...
What?
IheardDad'sgirlf
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