HOWIMETYOURMOTHER老爸老妈浪漫史第1季第6集英文剧本文库.docx
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HOWIMETYOURMOTHER老爸老妈浪漫史第1季第6集英文剧本文库.docx
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HOWIMETYOURMOTHER老爸老妈浪漫史第1季第6集英文剧本文库
HOWIMETYOURMOTHER
1X06-SLUTTYPUMPKIN
ORIGINALAIRDATE(CBS):
24-OCT-2005
WRITTENBYBRENDAHSUEH
DIRECTEDBYGLORIACALDERONKELLETT
YEAR2030
INT.LIVINGROOM
(DaughterandSonsittingoncouch)
FutureTed:
YouknowhowAuntRobin'sabigfanofHalloween,alwaysdressingupincrazycostumes?
Well,shewasn'talwaysthatway.Backin2005,shethoughtshewastoocoolforHalloween,unlikeAuntLily.
INT.BAR
(Presentday,Marshall,BarneyandRobinsitatbooth;Lilyentersbarandheadsovertothem)
Lily:
Guesswhatcameinthemailtoday?
(LilysitsdownnexttoMarshall)
Marshall:
Ourcostumes?
Dotheyrule?
Lily:
Theyrule.Andyoursis100%woolsoyouwon'tgethypothermialikelastyear.
Marshall:
Tarzannippleblue.
Barney:
YouknowwhatIloveaboutHalloween?
It'stheonenightoftheyearchicksusetounleashtheirinnerho-bag.Ifagirldressesupassheawitch,she'sasluttywitch.Ifshe'sacat,she'sasluttycat.Ifshe'sanurse...
Lily(interrupting):
Wow,wegetit.
Barney:
She'sasluttynurse.
Marshall:
Robin,whatareyoudoingforHalloween?
Robin:
Oh,Idon'tknow.ProbablyhangingoutwithMike,thisguyI'vebeenseeing.
Lily:
Mike?
There'saMike?
Youhaveaboyfriend?
Youhaven'ttoldus?
Robin:
No,Imean,he'snotmyboyfriend.He'sjustthisguyI'vebeenseeingforacoupleofweeks.
Lily(inasing-songvoice):
Boyfriend.
Marshall:
Sowhyhaven'twemethim?
Robin:
We'renotreallyreadytogopublicyet.
Barney(inasing-songvoice):
Married.
Lily:
HowaboutwegoaboutaHalloweendouble-date?
Robin:
Idon'tknow,wewerekindathinkingaboutstayingathomeanddressingupasnakedpeople.
Lily:
Comeon,Robin,trotouryournewfella.Letusjudgeandevaluatehimbehindyourback.It'llbefun.
(MarshalllooksovertoseeTedapproaching)
Marshall:
Hey,Ted,you'llneverguesswhathappened?
Ted:
Yourcostumescame.
Marshall:
Ourcostumes...yes,thatiswhywe'rebestfriends.
Robin:
Hey,Ted,whatareyoudoingforHalloween?
Ted:
Well.
Marshall,Lily,Barney:
Awww.
Robin:
What?
Lily:
EveryHalloweenTedwaitsfortheSluttyPumpkin.
Ted:
That'sright.
Robin:
What'stheSluttyPumpkin?
Ted:
Youmean,whoistheSluttyPumpkin?
Itwasfouryearsago.
EXT.ROOFTOP
(TedatHalloweenparty4yearsago)
Ted:
IwasatthisHalloweenpartyupontheroofofourbuilding.I'mabouttocallitanearlynightwhenoutofnowhereappearedthisgirlinthesexiestpumpkincostume.
INT.BAR
Robin:
Wait,howcanapumpkincostumebesexy?
Ted:
Itwascarvedinstrategicplaces.
Ted:
So,uh,we'reatthebarandIseehermixkahlua...
Lily:
Kahluaandrootbeer
Marshall:
Acocktailsheinventedherself.
Ted:
Andshe...
Barney:
AndshecalledittheTootsieRoll.
Lily,Marshall,Barney:
BecauseittasteslikeanalcoholicTootsieRoll.
Ted:
Hey,canIpleasetellthisstory?
Sowehadthisinstantconnection.Shegavemehernumber,butthensomething...
Marshall,Lily,Barney:
Somethingwentterriblywrong.
Ted:
Guys!
Somethingwentterriblywrong.
INT.APARTMENT
(Halloweenfouryearsago,Lily,dressedupasSonny,ispassingoutcandyatfrontdoor)
Lily:
HappyHalloween.
(Tedwalksinthroughfrontdoor)
Ted:
Sonny,where'sCher?
Lily:
Cher?
(Marshallwalksinfromhisbedroomdressedupasawoman)
Marshall:
Righthere,babe.
Ted:
Ijustmettheperfectwoman.She'sfunny.She'sbeautiful.ShelovesStarWars.
Marshall:
Whoawhoawhoawhoawhoa.What'shertakeonEwoks?
Ted:
Lovesthem.
Marshall:
Ohgood.Idon'tknowwhypeoplearesocynicalaboutEwoks.TheRebellionwouldhavefailedwithouttheEwoks.
Ted:
Getthis,she'samarinebiologist.ShespentayearinAntarcticastudyingpenguins.
Marshall:
Oh,penguinsarecool,kindalikeblackandwhiteEwoks.Iapprove.
Ted:
Hey,where'smy,uh,KitKat?
Iputitrighthereonthistable.
Lily:
Idon'tknow,butwehaveplentyofchocolatehere.
Ted:
Nonono,youdon'tunderstand.IneedthatKitKat.Shewrotehernumberonthatwrapper.Whereisit?
Lily:
Uh-oh.
(TedrunsoutfrontdoorandchasesdownkiddressedupasDracula)
Ted:
Hey,Dracula.Comeon.Givemeyourcandy.Gimme!
(Tedgrabskid'scandyanddumpsitonthefloor)
Ted:
Where'stheKitKat?
Where'stheKitKat!
INT.BAR
Ted:
Neverfoundhernumber,neversawheragain.ButeveryyeartheyhaveaHalloweenpartyupontheroofsothat'swhereI'llbe.
Barney:
Youknow,Ted,it'sbeenfouryears.Shecouldbeengagedormarriedor,Godforbid,fat.
Ted:
Idon'tknow,Igotafeeling.Thiscouldbetheyear.Halloweenisanightofwonderandmagic.
(Lily,Marshall,andBarneygroan)
Ted:
OK,bringthemockery.Fine,Icantakeit.Comeon,wouldn'titbethecooleststoryeveriftheSluttyPumpkinturnedouttobemyfuturewife?
Lily:
Oh,ontheoffchancethatthatcouldhappen,maybeweshouldstopcallinghertheSluttyPumpkin.
(Marshall,Barney,andTedmumbleinagreement)
INT.APARTMENT
(Tedsittingoncouchalonewithlaptop)
Lily(frombedroom):
Ted,isyourworldreadytoberocked?
(echo)rocked-rocked-rocked.
Ted:
Can'twait.
(MarshallandLilywalkoutintheirpirateandparrotcostumes)
Marshall:
So,whatdoyouthink?
Lily:
(repeatslikeaparrot)So,whatdoyouthink?
(squawks)
Ted:
Wow!
Marshall,youwearingeyeliner?
Marshall:
Oh,yeah.Weirdlyhot,right?
Lily:
Wearesogonnawinthecostumecontestthisyear.
Marshall:
Firstprize,$50giftcertificateatthebar.
Ted:
Andhowmuchdidyoupayforyourcostumes?
Marshall:
$100
Lily:
(likeparrot)Each.
Ted:
Well,Ithinkyouguyslookgreat.
(Tedgetsupfromcouchandleaveslaptoponcouch)
Lily:
Whatareyougoingas?
Oh,likeIevenhavetoask.
Ted:
Hey,IwanttheSluttyPumpkintorecognizemeandsheknowsmeasahangingchad.
(Tedputsonhiscostumeasaballotwithahangingchad)
Ted:
What?
Shethoughtitwashilarious.
Lily:
Yeah,fouryearsago,butnobodyrememberswhatthehellahangingchadis.
Marshall:
Whatasadcommentaryonournationalattentionspanthatwecouldforgetsuchaturbulenttimeinourpoliticalhistory.
Lily(likeparrot):
Sadcommentary.(squawks)
Lily:
Allright,Pollygottapee.
Marshall:
Again?
(LilyandMarshallwalktowardbathroom)
Ted:
Whereareyougoing?
Marshall:
It'sanelaboratecostume.
(Tedgoesovertocouchtoshutlaptop,Tedhearsmusiccomingfromdirectionofdoor,TedopensdoortofindBarneydressedinflightsuitwith"DangerZone"playingbehindhim,Barneywalksinafewsteps,takesoffhissunglassesandshakeshisheadaround)
Barney:
No,no,notagain.Notthisyear.You'regoingasmywingman.Flightsuitup!
(BarneythrowsacostumetoTed)
Ted:
Nothanks.I'mstickingwiththehangingchad.
Barney:
Ohyou'redangerous,Maverick.Yourego'swritingcheckyourbodycan'tcash.OK.Here'stheplan,andIcrapyounot.I'mgettingusintotheVictoria'sSecretHalloweenparty.Trustme,bytheendofthenight,yourchadwillnotbehanging.
Ted:
Wecangetrejectedbysupermodelsanynightoftheyear.Tonight,I'mgoinguptotheroof,I'mgonnahaveafewbeers,I'mgonnawaitfortheSluttyPumpkin.That'sjustwhatIdo.
Barney:
Hm,(puttinguplefthand)Victoria'sSecretmodelsprancingaroundinbrasandpanties,or(puttinguprighthand)Yalepreppiesreunitingtheirstupidacapellagroup.What'sthatlefthand?
Righthandsucks?
Word.
Ted:
I'mheadinguptotheroof.
Barney:
Well,boys,lookslikeit'sjustthethreeofus.What'sthat?
Self-five?
Nice.(highfiveshimself)Weout.
(Robincomesinfrontdoor)
Robin:
Hey,Chad,how'sithanging?
Ted:
Hey,wordplay.Funny.
(TedandBarneywalkoutfrontdoor)
Robin:
(toBarneyashewalksbyheroutthedoor)Whoo.
Robin:
(toLily)Niceoutfit.
Lily:
I'maparrot.
Robin:
Yousureare.
(Robinclosesdoor)
Lily:
Where'sMike?
Robin:
He'smeetingmehere.IranlatecoveringtheHalloweenparadeintheVillage.Therearelikeazilliongaypiratesthisyear.
(Marshallwalksintolivingroomfrombathroom)
Marshall:
Seriously,doesmyeyelinerlookOK?
Lily:
Yes,it'sweirdlyhot.
Lily(toRobin):
So,where'syourcostume?
(knockatdoor)
Robin:
Uh,youknow,MikeandIjokedaboutdoingsomethingtogetherbutwedecidednottodressup.
(RobinopensdoorandMikeisstandingtheredressedasHansel)
Robin:
Oh,geez.
Mike:
Hi.
Robin:
Ah,everyone,thisisMichael.Th-thatisnothisrealhair.
Mike:
Where'syourcostume,Gretel?
Robin:
YouthoughtIwas...Oh,Iwasjustkidding.Igottastopmakingjokesine-mails.It'ssohardtoconveytone.
Marshall(asidetoLily):
Ithinkwegotthembeat.
(MarshallgivesLilyfive)
EXT.ROOFTOP
(BarneyandTedwalkthroughHalloweenparty)
Barney:
Ican'tbelieveyoutalkedmeintothis.
Ted:
Ididn't.Youfollowedmeuphere.
Barney:
Thispartysucks.Therearesevenchickshere.
(guyindresstakesoffblondewig)
Barney:
Therearesixchickshere.
Ted:
Relax,thenightisyoung.It'sgonnagetbetter.
KingCostumeGuy:
Ladiesandgentlemen,ason-pitchastheywereatSpringFling'95,it'smypleasuretowelcomebacktheShagarats.
(Peopleapplaud)
Shagarats:
(singing)Mybonnieliesovertheocean.Mybonnieliesoverthesea.Mybonnielivesovertheocean.Ohbringbackmybonnietome...
(Barneywalksovertobaranddrinksfromlargebottle)
INT.BAR
(Lily,Marshall,RobinandMikeatbooth)
Barney(talkinglikepirate):
Whatbeapirate'sfavoritekindofsweater?
Lily:
Arr-gyle.
Barney(talkinglikeapirate):
Andwhatbeapirate'sfavoritefastfoodrestaurant?
Lily:
Arrr-by's
Barney(talkinglikeapirate):
WouldthinkitwouldbeArby's,(talkingnormal)butactuallyit'sLongJohnSilver's.
Robin:
ActuallyIkindaneedthishandtoeat.
Mike:
Oh.
(waiterbringsfoodover)
Lily,
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