专四作文学生作文实评.docx
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专四作文学生作文实评.docx
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专四作文学生作文实评
下面我将以2010年的四级考题为例,对作文的评分标准进行具体的说明,样文中的黑体字部分为考生所犯语言错误:
2010年四级考题:
Itwasrecentlyreportedinanewspaperthatsixstudentswhosharedadormatalocaluniversityhiredacleanertodolaundryandcleaningonceaweek.Andeachofthempaidher60yuanamonth.Thishasledtoadebateastowhethercollegestudentsshouldhirecleaners.
WriteonANSWERSHEETTHREEacompositionofabout200wordsonthefollowingtopic:
ShouldCollegeStudentsHireCleaners?
Youaretowriteinthreeparts.
Inthefirstpart,statespecificallywhatyouropinionis.
Inthesecondpart,supportyouropinionwithappropriatedetails.
Inthelastpart,bringwhatyouhavewrittentoanaturalconclusionorasummary.
Markswillbeawardedforcontent,organization,grammarandappropriateness.Failuretofollowtheinstructionsmayresultinalossofmarks.
样文1
ShouldCollegeStudentsHireCleaners?
Overjoyedaretoday’syoungsters,fortheyfinallyfindawaytofreethemselvesfromsomeoftheduelresponsibilitieswhichtheirfathergenerationshavebeenobligedtodo.Recently,thephenomenonthatuniversitystudentshiringcleanersfordoingcleaningandlaundryworkhastriggeredaheateddebate.AsfarasIdeem,theactionofsuchyoungadultsisinappropriateand,insomesense,absurd.
Thefirstcrucialreasonisthatatrulysuccessfulandindustriousuniversitystudentoughttoseekaccomplishmentsnotonlyinacademicfieldbutintermofcivilizedpersonalhabitsaswell.Itseemsthatthemerevictoryofachievinghighscoresistheirterminalgoalofbeingaqualifiedstudent,assomemayjustifytheirlazinessbyexplaininghowbusytheyareengagedinstudies.Inotherwords,apartfromacquiringknowledgeandthenapplyingitlateraftergraduation,collegestudentsshouldalsobearinmindthattakingcareofdormitorychoresisalsoanessentialfacetwhenpeopleareassessingawell-roundedperson.
Moreover,theotheraspectthatmayjeopardizetheprocedureofbecomingaresponsibleandqualifiedadultistheoverlookofcultivatingproperhabitsandmanners.Collegestudentsshouldnotstepbackwhenfacedwiththetroubleofcleaningandwashingjob,forthetwomentionedwillbenothingcomparedtotheproblemsandresponsibilitiestheywillencounterlateronintheirlife.
Tosumup,payingotherstoshoulderwhatoneoughttocompleteisnotaproperidea,especiallyfortheyounggrown-ups.Ontheotherhand,thecultivationofdiligenceinbothschoolworkandpersonaldailylifemaybeawiseroption.
思想与表达:
6分
语言运用能力:
5.5分
写作规范:
2分
这篇样文内容切题,表述清楚,结构明晰,语言措辞较为得体,词汇比较丰富,句式多样,只有少量语言错误。
样文2
ShouldCollegeStudentsHireCleaners?
Ithasarousedaheateddiscussionwhethercollegestudentsshouldhirecleaners.Manypeoplesupportthemtohirecleanersinthebeliefthatitcansavetheirtimewhileothersstronglyopposetheidea.AsfarasIamconcerned,collegestudentsshouldnothirecleaners.
Iwillsupportmyopinionfromthefollowingtwoparts.Inthefirstplace,collegestudentsshouldbeindependentonthemselvesandformgoodlivinghabits.Washingclothesandcleaningthehouseisnotdifficultforcollegestudentsatall.Theyoughttodothesebythemselvessoastoformaregularlivinghabitandimprovetheirindependence.
Inthesecondplace,doinglaundryandcleaningallbyoneselfprovidescollegestudentswithanopportunitytotakeexercises.Putasideyourstudyandwork,andcometodosomewashingandcleaning,youaresuretofeelrefreshedandenergetic.Thesesimpleexercises,notoccupyingtoomuchtime,arebeneficialtothehealthofcollegestudents.
Toconclude,doinglaundryandcleaningisconducivetocollegestudents’independence,goodlivinghabitsandhealth.Theyshoulddothesethingsbythemselvesinsteadofhiringcleanerstoservethem.
思想与表达:
5.5分
语言运用能力:
5分
写作规范:
1.5分
这篇样文内容比较切题,结构较为清楚,论据能够较好地支持论点,表达比较清晰流畅,语言比较到位,有一些语言错误。
样文3
ShouldCollegeStudentsHireCleaners?
Nowadays,inChineseuniversities,astudentusuallyhasmorethantencoursesineachsemester.Wehavetonsofhomeworkstodoandarebusydoingvariousresearches.Somestudentsmaythereforefindnotimetocleantheirdorms.However,Istilldon’tthinkthatcollegestudentsshouldhirecleanersandherearethreereasons:
First,weweretaughttolovelaborwhenwewerekids.Itisnotaskilltoearnmoneybutanattitudetowardslife.Wegethappinessandsatisfactionfromlaboring,evenforothers.Becauseofourstudies,wemaynothaveenoughtimetoserveothersveryoften.Atleast,cleaningourowndormsisourduty.
Secondly,learningfromthetextbooksisnolongertheonlytaskforacollegestudent.Wehavetoexperienceourlivesandtrytolivebyourselves.Supposeoneday,youwilllivealonewithoutyourparents’help,it’snecessaryforyoutocleantheroomonyourown.Thatiswhyweshouldtreatourdormsasourownapartmentsnow.Makingitclean,tosomeextents,willbegoodforourstudiesaswell.
Finally,hiringacleanerisnotsafeenough.Idon’tthinkwecantrustsomeonewhomwebarelyknowabout.
Inaword,cleaningthedormisoneofourduties.Itwon’tcostmuchtimeeverydayandmayaddtheinterestofyourlife.Touscollegestudents,dormsarethesecondhome.Thenlet’sbeautifyandcleanitbyourselves.
思想与表达:
5分
语言运用能力:
4.5分
写作规范:
1.5分
这篇样文内容基本切题,结构清楚,论据不是很充分,缺少说服力,语言一般。
样文4
ShouldCollegeStudentsHireCleaners?
Recently,thereportofsixcollegestudentshiredacleanertodolaundryhasledtoaheateddebate.Somepeoplethinkthatstudentsshouldpaymoreattentiononstudyandhiringacleanertodolaundryisawisewaytosavetimeforstudy.Otherpeoplethinkitisharmfultostudentsbecausetheywillneverlearntobeindependent.AsfarasIamconcerned,collegestudentsshoulddolaundrythemselvesratherthanhirecleaners.
First,itisaeffectivewaytodevelopcollegestudents’independence.BythisImeanthatstudentsmaybethefirsttimetoliveawayfromparents,theyarenolongerundertheirparents’protection.Bydoinglaundry,theymaylearntoarrangetheroutinelife.Second,itmaysaveplentyofmoney.Collegestudentsarestillrelyontheirparentsfinancialsupport,theygetmoneyformtheirparents.Thus,theyneedtouseitinawisewaytomakecontributiontostudyratherthantobelazy.
Collegestudentsrepresenttheyoungpowerofourcountry,theyshoulddevelopinacomprehensiveway.Doinglaundrythemselvesmayhelpthembuildbothstrongbodyandmind.Let’sdoit.
思想与表达:
4.5分
语言运用能力:
4分
写作规范:
1.5分
这篇样文结构可以,思想内容一般,有一些语言错误。
样文5
ShouldCollegeStudentsHireCleaners?
Whenaskedaboutwhethercollegestudentsshouldhirecleaners,differentpeopleholddifferentopinion.Somepeoplethinkthatitisbettertodothecleaningbythemselves.However,othersholdtheviewthathiringcleanersisgoodforstudents.Inmyopinion,collegestudentsshouldn’thirecleaners.
Thereasoncanbeshownintwoaspects.Foronething,doingthecleaningbyourselvescancultivateustoknowhowtotakecareofourselvesandbeingself-independent.Usually,therearesixstudentswhosharedasamedorm,ifeveryonewaitforthecleanertodothecleaningonceaweek,theywillbecomethelazybonesfinally.
Foranother,hiringacleanerandpayingforthemnearly60yuanamonthisactuallyawastofmoney.What’smore,itwillheavytheirparentsburden.Ourparentshavepaidalotforourcollegetuition.Sothereisnoreasonforustohirethecleanerstodothelaundryandcleaningforustohirethecleanerstodothelaundryandcleaningforus.Wehavetoconsidertodoapart-timejobtolearnhowtomakealiving,butnotletsomebodyelsedothecleaning.
Inshort,hiringacleanerisnotonlyabadbehaviourbutalsoawasteoftime.Wecollegestudentshavenochoicebuttodothecleaningbyourselvesandlearntoknowhowdifficulttomakealiving.
思想与表达:
4分
语言运用能力:
3.5分
写作规范:
1.5分
本篇样文结构尚可,内容基本切题,但是思想观点比较幼稚,语
言一般。
样文6
ShouldCollegeStudentsHireCleaners?
Likeeverycoinhastwosides,therearedifferentviewsaboutthatcollegestudentsshouldhirecleanersornot.Inmyopinion,collegestudentsshoulddothecleaningbythemselves.
Thereareseveralreasonsformyopinion.Firstly,forcollegestudents,theyareadults,notchildren.Gotocollegemeansthattheyareindependentfromtheirparentsgradually.Theymustdotheirownthingsbythemselves.Furthermore,cleaningisanabilityofliving.Apersonwholiveintheworldmusthavetheability.Hiringcleanerscouldnottrainthemtheability.It’salittlefoolish.Moreover,hiringcleanersiswasteofmoney.Ifthecleanerdoescleaningonceaweek,oneweektwohours.Itmaybeeighthoursamonth.Studentsmaybepayonehundredyuanormoreforthis.However,onehundredyuanmaybeaweekcostofdiet.It’snotwisetohirecleanersdothethingswhichstudentscandoitthemselves.
Inaword,dothecleaningisaperformanceofindependent,itisalsoanabilityofliving.Studentsshouldnotspendtheirparents’moneyonthis.Students,dothecleaningbyyourself,foryou,foryourparents.Howagoodway,isn’tit?
思想与表达:
3.5分
语言运用能力:
3分
写作规范:
1分
本样文结构尚可,但是内容不够充实,思想幼稚,语言很差,语言错误过多。
样文7
ShouldCollegeStudentsHireCleaners?
Recentlyanewspaperreportedthatsomestudentshiredacleanertodolaundryandcleaningintheuniversity.Thishasledtoaheateddebateastowhethercollegestudentsshouldhirecleaners.AsfarasIamconcerned.Itisnotwisetohireacleanerforcollegestudents.
Ononehand,universityisaplacewherewestudybutnotsavor.Studyinginuniversityespeciallybeneficialforustobecomemoreindependence.Supposingtohireacleaner,itagainstsouroriginalpurpose
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