Screw you small mood 滚蛋吧小情绪Word格式.docx
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Screw you small mood 滚蛋吧小情绪Word格式.docx
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演讲思路:
通过讲述孤独、失败、被拒对人的影响,呼吁人们关注心理健康
1.首先讲述儿童生活时期自己对较大饼干的偏爱,从而引出人们关注身体健康多于心理健康的偏爱,并以一个小男孩摔倒擦伤后的处理措施加以验证。
2.以读博期间一次跟哥哥打电话的经历,讲述孤独使人误认为周围人不关心自己,从而不愿主动与他们交流。
3.以幼儿园小朋友玩玩具的例子讲述一次失败后,若人们相信自己无法成功,便容易放弃尝试,从而永远无法成功。
4.以自己和朋友驾车被警察拦截的例子论证:
人一旦形成某个想法便难以改变。
5.以一个女同事离婚后初次约会被拒后内心变化,讲述人们当自尊受挫后更倾向于自我损害自尊。
6.以哥哥肿瘤治疗期间我的心态变化,讲述人们遇到不好的事情时能够通过转移注意力的方式走出阴影。
7.描绘了对人人心理健康世界美好的憧憬,呼吁大家关注心理健康,并提供了若干小建议。
✧Takeactionwhenyoulonely
✧Changeyourresponsestofailure
✧Protectyourself-esteem
✧Battlenegativethinking
ScrewYouSmallMood
Igrewupwithmyidenticaltwin,whowasanincrediblylovingbrother.Nowonethingaboutbeingatwinisitmakesyouanexpertatspottingfavoritism.Ifhiscookiewasevenslightlybiggerthanmycookie,Ihadquestions.Andclearly,Iwasn’tstarving.WhenIbecameapsychologist,Ibegantonoticefavoritismofadifferentkind.Andthatishowmuchmorewevaluethebodythanwedothemind.Ispent9yearsatuniversityearningmydoctorateinpsychologyandIcan’ttellyouhowmanypeoplelookatmybusinesscardandsay“Oh,apsychologist,sonotarealdoctor”asifitshouldsaythatonmycard.Thisfavoritismweshowthebodyoverthemind,Iseeiteverywhere.
Irecentlywasatafriend’shouseandtheir5-year-oldboywasgettingreadyforbed.Hewasstandonastoolbythesinkbrushinghisteeth,whenheslipped,andscratchedhislegonthestoolwhenhefell.Hecriedforaminute,butthenhegotbackup,gotbackonthestool,andreachedoutforaboxofBand-Aidstoputoneonhiscut.Now,thiskidcouldbarelytiehisshoelaces,butheknewyouhavetocoveracut,soitdoesn’tbecomeinfected,andyouhavetocareforyourteethbybrushingthemtwiceaday.
Weallknowhowtomaintainourphysicalhygieneandhowtopracticedentalhygiene,right?
We’veknownitsincewewere5yearsold.Butwhatdoweknowaboutmaintainingourpsychologicalhealth?
Well,nothing.Whatdoweteachourchildrenaboutemotionalhygiene?
Nothing.Howisitwespendmoretakingcareofourteeththanwedoourminds?
Whyisitourphysicalhealthissomuchmoreimportantthanourpsychologicalhealth?
Youknow,wesustainpsychologicalinjuriesevenmoreoftenwedophysicalones,injurieslikefailureorrejectionorloneliness.Andtheycanalsogetworseifweignorethemandtheycanimpactourlivesindramaticways.Andyet,eventhoughtherearescientificallyproventechniqueswecouldusetotreatthesekindsofpsychologicalinjuries.Wedon’t.Itdoesn’tevenoccurtousthatweshould.“Oh,youarefeelingdepressed.Justshakeitoff,it’sallinyourhead.”Canyouimaginesayingthattosomeonewithabrokenleg“Oh,walkitoff;
it’sallinyourlegs”.It’stimeweclosedthegapbetweenourphysicalandpsychologicalhealth.It’stimewemadethemmoreequal,moreliketwins.
Speakingofwhich,mybrotherisalsoapsychologist.Soheisn’tarealdoctor,ether.Wedidn’tstudytogether,though.Infact,thehardestthingI’veeverdoneinmylifeismoveacrosstheAtlantictoNewYorkCitytogetmydoctorateinpsychology.Wewereapartthenforthefirsttimeinourlives,andtheseparationwasbrutalforbothofus.Butwhileheremainedamongfamilyandfriends,Iwasaloneinanewcountry.Wemissedeachotherterribly,buttheinternationalphonecallswerereallyexpensivethen,andwecouldonlyaffordtospeakfor5minutesaweek.Whenourbirthdayrolledaround,anditwasthefirstwewouldn’tbespendingtogether.Wedecidedtosplurge,atthatweekwewouldtalkfor10minutes.Ispentthemorningpacingaroundtheroom,waitinghimtocall,andwaitingandwaiting,butthephonedidn’tring.Giventhetimedifference,Iassumed“OK,he’soutwithfriends,hewillcalllater.”,therewerenocellphonesthen.Buthedidn’t.AndIbegantorealizethatafterbeingawayforovertenmonthshenolongermissedmethewayImissedhim.Iknewhewouldcallinthemorning,butthatnightwasoneofthesaddestandlongestnightsofmylife.Iwokeupthenextmorning,Iglancedatthephone,andIrealizedIhadkickeditoffthehoofwhenpacingthedaybefore.Istumbledoffthebed.Iputthephonebackonthereceiver,anditrangasecondlater,anditwasmybrother,and,boy,washepissed.Itwassaddestandlongestnightofhislifeaswell.NowItriedtoexplaintowhathappened,buthesaid“Idon’tunderstand,ifyousawIwasn’tcallingyouwhydidn’tyoujustpickupthephoneandcallme.”
Hewasright.Whydidn’tIcallhim?
Ididn’thaveananswerthen,butIdotoday.Andit’sasimpleone:
Loneliness.Lonelinesscreatesadeeppsychologicalwound,onethatdistortsourperceptionsandscramblesourthinking.Itmakesusbelievethatthosearounduscaremuchlessthantheyactuallydo.Itmakesupafraidtoreachoutbecausewhysetyourselfupforrejectionandheadacheandwhenyourheartisalreadyachingmorethanyoucanstand.Iwasinthegripsofreallonelinessbackthen.Iwassurroundedbypeopleallday,soitneveroccurredtome.Butlonelinessisdefinedpurelysubjectively.Itdependssolelyonwhetheryoufeelemotionallyorsociallydisconnectedfromthosearoundyou.AndIdid.
There’salotofresearchonlonelinessandallofitishorrifying.Lonelinesswon’tjustmakeyoumiserable,itwillkillyou.I’mnotkidding.Chroniclonelinessincreasesyourlikelihoodofanearlydeathby14percent.Lonelinesscauseshighbloodpressure,highcholesterol.Itevensuppressthefunctioningofyourimmunesystem,makingyouvulnerabletoallkindsofillnessesanddiseases.Infact,scientistshaveincludedthattakentogether,chroniclonelinessposesassignificantariskforyourlong-termhealthandlongevityascigarettesmoking.Nowcigarettepackscomewithwarnings“thismaykillyou”,butlonelinessdoesn’t.Andthat’swhyit’ssoimportantweprioritizeourpsychologicalhealththatwepracticeemotionalhygiene.Becauseyoucan’ttreatapsychologicalwoundifyoudon’tevenknowyou’reinjured.
Lonelinessisnottheonlypsychologicalwoundthatdistortsourperceptionsandmisleadsus.Failuredoesthataswell.Ioncevisitedaday-carecenter,whereIsawthreetoddlersplaywithidenticalplastictoys.Youhadtoslidetheredbuttonandacutedoggiewouldpopout.Onelittlegirltriedpullingthepurplebuttonthenpushingit,andthenshejustsatbackandlookatthebox,withherlowerlipstrembling.Thelittleboynexttoherwatchedthishappen,thenturnedtohisboxandburstintotearswithouteventouchingit.Meanwhile,anotherlittlegirltriedeverythingshecouldthinkofuntilsheslidtheredbutton,thecutedoggiepoppedoutandshesquealedwithdelight.Sothreetoddlerswithidenticalplastictoysbutwithverydifferentreactionstofailure.Thefirsttwotoddlerswereperfectlycapableofslidingaredbutton,theonlythingpreventedthemfromsucceedingwasthattheirmindtrickedthemintobelievingtheycouldnot.
Nowadultsgettrickedthiswayaswell,allthetime.Infact,weallhaveadefaultsetoffeelingandbeliefsthatgetstrickedwheneverweencounterfrustrationsandsetbacks.Areyouawarehowyourmindreactstoafailure?
Youneedtobe.Becauseifyourmindtriestoconvinceyouyou’reincapableofsomethingandyoubelieveit,thenlikethosetwotoddlers,you’llbegintofeelhelpless,andyouwillstoptryingtoosoonevenyouwon’teventryatall,andyou’llbeevenmoreconvincedyoucan’tsucceed.Yousee,that’swhysomanypeoplefunctionbelowtheiractualpotential.Becausesomewherealongtheway,sometimesevenasinglefailureconvincedthemthattheycouldn’tsucceed,andtheybelievedit.
Oncewebecomeconvincedofsomething,it’sverydifficulttochangeourmind.IlearnedthatlessonthehardwaywhenIwasateenagerwithmybrother.Weweredrivingwithfriendsdownadarkroadatnight,whenapolicecarstoppedus.Theyhadbeeninarobberyintheareaandtheywerelookingforthesuspects.Theofficeapproachedthecarandshinedhisflashlightonthedriver,thenonmybrotherinthefrontseat,andthenonme.Andhiseyesopenedwideandsaid“wherehaveIseenyourfacebefore?
”.AndIsaid“inthefrontseat”.Butthatmadenosensetohim,whatsoever.SonowhethoughtIwasondrugs.Sohedragsmeoutofthecarandhesearchesme.HemarchesmeovertothepolicecarandonlywhenheverifiedIdidn’thaveapolicerecord,couldIshowhimIhadatwininthefrontseat.Butevenasweweredrivingaway,youcouldseebythelookonhisfacehewasconvincedthatIwasgettingawaywithsomething.
Ourmindishardtochangeoncewebecomeconvinced.Soitmightbeverynaturaltofeeldemoralizedanddefeatedafteryoufail.Butyoucannotallowyourselftobecomeconvincedyoucan’tsucceed.Youhavetofightwithfeelingsofhelplessness.Youhavetogaincontroloverthesituation.Youhavetobreakthiskindofnegativecirclebeforeitbegins.Ourmindsandourfeelings,theyarenotthetrustworthyfriendslikewethoughttheywere,theyaremorelikeareallymoodyfriendswhocantotallysupportiveoneminuteandreallyunpleasantthenext.
Ionceworkedwiththiswoman,whoafter20yearsmarriageandanextremelyuglydivorcewasfinallyreadyforherfirstdate.Shehadmetthisguyonline,andheseemedniceandheseemedsuccessfulandmostimportantlyheseemedreallyintoher.Soshewasveryexcitedandsheboughtanewdress.AndtheymetatanupscaleNewYorkCitybarforadrink.Tenminutesintothedate,themanstandsupandhesays“I’mnotinterested”andwalksout.Rejectionisextremelypainful.Thewomanwassohurtshecouldn’tmove.Allshecoulddowascallafriend.Andhere’swhatthefriendsaid“Well,whatdoyo
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- Screw you small mood 滚蛋吧小情绪 滚蛋 情绪