love and learning.docx
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love and learning.docx
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loveandlearning
Towardsloveandlearning,collegeteachersandstudentsholddifferentcontroversialviews.
Themajorityofcollegeteachers,especiallyoldteachers,arguethatstudentsshouldgiveuploveandconcentrateonlearning.Theysaythatcampusloveistime-and-energy-consumingandtearsstudentsawayfromtheirmaintask.Ifastudenteverfallsinlove,he/shewillundoubtedlyneglecthis/herstudiesandgraduallylagbehindhis/herclassmates.Afewteachers,therefore,suggestthattheuniversityauthoritiesrestorethetraditionalregulationagainstloveduringstudents’schoolyears.
Onthecontrary,studentsholdthatitisnaturalforyoungpeopletofallinloveonthecampusbecausetheymeeteverydayandtheireverydaymeetingproducesromanticpassiontowardseachother.TheyinsistthatthecampusisnottheGardenofEdenandloveisnot,theForbiddenTree.Theytakeforexamplesomeoftheirfriendswho,fallinginlove,arestudyingharderandhavemadegreaterprogresstopleasetheirboy/girlfriends.
Inmyopinion,bothviewsarelop-sided.Ifastudentdoesnotgivehimself/herselfawayinlovebuttakesitasadrive,loveproducespositiveeffect.Butifhe/sheindulgeshimself/herselftoodeeplyinlove,thenhe/shewillbeadevoteloverbutafrustratedlearner.
Advantages:
First,loveaffairsatcollegeconformtothementalandphysicalfeatures;Second,asweallknowthatcollegeisaplacewherepeoplegainallkindsofknowledgefortheirfuturedevelopment,andit'salsoanidealplaceforpeopletopursuetheirtruelove.Iftwopeopleareintruelove,theyaremorelikelytoworkhardandhelpeachotherfortheirsharedfuturelife;
Disadvantages:
First,loveatcollegemaybesuperficialbecausebothsidesarenoteconomicallyindependent,theyhavetorelyontheirparentsforaliving,thereforeapotentialburdenonparentsexists;Second,ittakestimeforbothsidestobuildtheirromanticrelationship,ainappropriatedistributionoftimemaybringaboutacademicincapability,whichwoulddodamagetotherelationshipforsureasareturn.
Aboveall,becautiousabouteachstepyoumakeatcollege.Bothgoodscoresandwonderfulloveareawaitingyou.
Fallinginlovewithincollege
Asitisknown,whenweareinhighschool,weallhaveaconstantgoalthatistogettheentrancetocollege,andhardworkisoutofquestionforthefollowing.Sowegainthenoticetocollegefinallywhichweoftendreamofinthenights,whichprovesaproverbthatthegoddoesn’tliveuptosomeonewhospendstimeandefforts,pleasememorizethesentenceforgood.
OfcourseonedaywewenttocollegeinAugustorSeptemberhappilyandproudly,butatthesametimesomethinghappenedthatitmadeyourheartpoundingfiercelynext,bytheway,thatisloveformanycollegestudents.Andthentheymissthedirectionsandtheirselvesaswellfortheirlives.NextIamtoexpressthatIamneutralforfallinginloveincollege,howeverIhavesomeideastoillustrateofmyown.
Firstly,ifyouarepassers-by,Ithinkwewillfindalotaboutseveralcouplesofboyfriendsandgirlfriendsunderthedormsordimcornersorintheclasseswithoutanybodyforclosepostures,asyoungsters,itisnormalwithoutaskingcauseaboutthat.
Secondly,evenworthmentioningisthatmanyyoungboysandgirlscouldn’tattendclassesandcoursesinsteadoftravelingtosomesceneriesandsightplacesordoingotherthingsonlytoturnoutthemlovedeachothertemporarily.
Thirdly,especiallytomostoffreshmen,pleasedon’tbeinfluencedbythephenomenonthatanumberofstudentswhofindsantherhalfcalledbythemselvesproudly,becauseIthinkpersonsaredifferentfromeachother,differentcharacters,backgroundsandaims.Butthereisonepointtoobeyifyouactuallywanttohaveanattemptthefeelingforloveatfirstsight:
itis,wheneveryouandIam,thelearningandtheworkisthemostprincipleratherthanloveisthefirstandworksecond,forwearen’tchildrenandteenagersanymore,inthefuturesocietyneedsacomprehensivequalifications,profoundandextensiveknowledgepersons,meanwhileincollegeyouareinthestateofhalffoottosocietywhichtimeisamostimportantprocesstoexerciseandexperiencebeforesteppingtocomplicatedandcomplexsociety,andthereforewearesupposedtospendmuchtimeinlearninginstead.
Whatarementionedaboveareonlymyopinions,believingthatothershavemoreperfectforfallinginloveincollege.
Loveenablesustoenjoyourlifeandgiveusmorelessonsaboutlife.Onlywhenwefallinlovewithsomebody,canweunderstandthemeaningoftruelove.Truelovemakesourlifecompleteandcolorful.LOVEcanalsostimulateourenthusiasmforourstudy
Whenitcomestorelationships,thehoneymoonneverends--atleastinthemindsofcollegestudentsparticipatinginastudydesignedtomeasurerelationshipexpectations.Theresearchersfoundthatstudentsbelievedtheirrelationshipswouldkeepgettingbetterandbetterovertime.
"Thesekindofexpectationsarelikesomethingyou'dfindina1950sDorisDay-RockHudsonmovie.Buttheyarecontrarytowhatresearchsuggestsaboutmaritalsatisfaction,"accordingtoAndrewI.Schwebel,professorofpsychology,OhioStateUniversity.Hemaintainsthatsuchoverlyoptimisticexpectationscanleadtomaritaldissatisfactionlaterinlife.
"Someonemightthink,forinstance,Well,I'mnotreallyhappywithmypartnerrightnow,butsincethingsaregoingtogetbetter,I'llgoaheadandmarryhimorher.'"
SchwebelanddoctoralstudentBryceSullivanstudied238studentsranginginagefrom18to34.Allweresingle,althoughmorethanaquarterofthemweredatingonepersonexclusivelyandhaddiscussedmarriagewiththeirpartner.
Eachparticipantwasaskedtocompletetwoquestionnaires.Onemeasuredtheirdysfunctionalrelationshipbeliefs;theotherassessedtheirexpectationsforfourdifferentstagesofarelationship:
casualdating,engagement,fiveyearsofmarriage,and15yearsofmarriage.ThesubjectsalsowereaskedwhattheythoughttheaverageAmerican'srelationshipwouldbelikeatthesesamestages.
Basedontheiranswers,thestudentsfelttheirownrelationshipswouldbemuchbetterinthefuturethanthoseofothercouples.Thisfinding,saytheresearchers,canbeattributedinparttosomethingcalledaself-servingbias--thebeliefthatone'sfuturewillbemorepositivethanthatofothers.
Toacertainextent,Schwebelindicates,suchbeliefscanbehelpful."Wewantpeopletohavepositiveexpectationsbecausethisleadsthemtotryharder--toexperiencetheself-fulfillingprophecyphenomenon.Ontheotherhand,there'sprobablysomecutoffpointwheretheirexpectationsareunrealisticallyhigh."
Forexample,Sullivanpointsout,"Peoplewhothinkthatthey'renevergoingtohaveanytroubleintheirmarriagemaybesettingthemselvesupfordisappointment.Itwouldbemuchmoreadaptiveiftheyrealizedthatmarriagecanbetoughandthey'regoingtohavetoworkprettyhardatittomakeitsucceed."
WASHINGTON(AP)--Afterexhaustivelycompilingalistofthe237reasonswhypeoplehavesex,researchersfoundthatyoungmenandwomengetintimateformostlythesamemotivations.
It'smoreaboutlustinthebodythanaloveconnectionintheheart.
College-agedmenandwomenagreeontheirtopreasonsforhavingsex--theywereattractedtotheperson,theywantedtoexperiencephysicalpleasureand"itfeelsgood,"accordingtoapeer-reviewedstudyintheAugusteditionofArchivesofSexualBehavior.
WOMEN'STOPTEN
1.Iwasattractedtotheperson
2.Iwantedtoexperiencephysicalpleasure
3.Itfeelsgood
4.Iwantedtoshowmyaffectiontotheperson
5.Iwantedtoexpressmylovefortheperson
6.Iwassexuallyarousedandwantedtherelease
7.Iwas"horny"
8.It'sfun
9.IrealizedIwasinlove
10.Iwas"intheheatofthemoment"
Twentyofthetop25reasonsgivenforhavingsexwerethesameformenandwomenincollege.
Expressingloveandshowingaffectionwereinthetop10forbothmenandwomen,buttheydidtakeabackseattotheclearNo.1:
"Iwasattractedtotheperson."
ResearchersattheUniversityofTexasspentfiveyearsandtheirownmoneytostudytheoverlookedwhybehindsexwhileotherswerespendingtheirtimeonthehow.
"It'srefutedalotofgenderstereotypes...thatmenonlywantsexforthephysicalpleasureandwomenwantlove,"saidUniversityofTexasclinicalpsychologyprofessorCindyMeston,thestudy'sco-author."That'snotwhatIcameupwithinmyfindings."
MEN'STOPTEN
1.Iwasattractedtotheperson
2.Itfeelsgood
3.Iwantedtoexperiencephysicalpleasure.
4.It'sfun
5.Iwantedtoshowmyaffectiontotheperson
6.Iwassexuallyarousedandwantedtherelease
7.Iwas"horny"
8.Iwantedtoexpressmylovefortheperson
9.Iwantedtoachieveanorgasm
10.Iwantedtopleasemypartner
ForgetthinkingthatmenarefromMarsandwomenfromVenus,"themorewelook,themorewefindsimilarity,"saidDr.IrwinGoldstein,directorofsexualmedicineatAlvaradoHospitalinSanDiego.
Goldstein,whowasn'tpartofMeston'sstudy,saidtheTexasresearchmadealotofsenseandaddstogrowingevidencethatthevaunteddifferencesinthegendersmayonlybeamongpeoplewithsexualproblems.
MestonandcolleagueDavidBussfirstquestioned444menandwomen--ranginginagefrom17to52--tocomeupwithalistof237distinctreasonspeoplehavesex.Theyrangedfrom"It'sfun"whichmenrankedfourthandwomenrankedeighthto"Iwantedtogivesomeoneelseasexuallytransmitteddisease"whichrankedonthebottombywomen.
Oncetheycameupwiththatlonglist,MestonandB
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